How to Build a Menu & Plan a Dinner Party
Plus 2 Menus and Ideas for Thanksgiving (with Pinterest boards)!
I love hosting people. As a kid, I didn’t get to host or have people over really, except in a few instances. I was always busy with after school sports, activities like plays and musicals, and when I was in elementary school, Girl Scouts. So there was partially no time to have my friends over, and our house was not a hosting house. Instead, I went to others’ houses for sleepovers, for parties, and to do schoolwork.
Since I became an adult, I’ve been committed to being the hostess with the mostest. I want people to feel so at home in my space that they can unbutton their pants when they’re full, take a minute in the other room to be by themselves and their phone, and drink sparkling water or whiskey on ice, whatever their relationship with alcohol. I love hosting a themed party (see Pumpplefest) and an afternoon of snacks and board games equally.
When I lived in New York City, the ability to host a lot of people was limited, but I made it work and had friends come over for dinner, hosted watch parties for TV shows, and pre-gamed before a night out. But I missed having long luxurious dinners and hanging with music and talking long into the night at someone’s home. This just didn’t happen with my circle in NYC, and was a stark contrast to my life as a college student in the upper Midwest. In fact, being able to host often in my home was one of the reasons I wanted to move back to Minnesota. While I was able to *technically* have people over as much as I wanted, it just wasn’t a big part of the culture I knew when I was out east.
Once I moved back to Minnesota, my husband and I had big, fun themed parties and hosted “family dinner” for our friends for a little while. My love of cooking flourished in my mid-20s, so I hosted friends for dinner all the time and started a cookbook club. Now I’m able to have people over in our beautiful dining room with vaulted ceilings, a major selling point of the house, for anything as simple as a weekend dinner or a holiday meal.
Each time I host somebody I am able to tap into what little Melissa couldn’t, and I’m so grateful that I’ve been able to have roommates and now a husband that is happy to have a gathering in their space.
How to Plan a Dinner Party and Build a Menu
So, in order to plan a dinner party, you’ll need to plan out some things ahead of time, most importantly the meal. Here is how I approach prepping a menu for a dinner party!
Theme/vibe: This is an important anchor for you as you think about what you want the *~feel~* of your event to be. Name a few ways (no more than 3) you want guests to feel in your space or say about your party: impressive, comfortable, modern, contemporary, grandma-chic, coastal, chic, etc. Think about clothing styles here too - they can help you narrow!
Pinterest board: Feel free to make it a secret board but do take 15 minutes just pinning photos of events that are similar to your 3 words you selected. This can help you determine what you already have and can use, and what you need to thrift or buy. Keep in mind you may need serving dishes that you don’t use all the time, so you may have to quickly audit what you already have on hand and what you can afford to buy.
Playlist: Similar to the Pinterest board, take a bit of time to curate the audio of the evening based on vibes and/or people’s music tastes.
Linens: Pay close attention to the linens in the Pinterest board and decide if you have adequate linens and if you have the funds to get some new ones! Read more about linens here.
Seated or buffet style: This will be important in determining the flow of people at your dinner party, what sorts of dishes you’ll need to have ready (or not), and how the serving of food will actually go. Having a clear vision of this ahead of time will help you to not feel as stressed in the moment.
Consider allergies/restrictions: Ask your guests about this if you don’t already know. You'll have to keep this in mind as you plan the food (the next step!).
Plan courses: These should be cohesive to the theme, season, and how fancy the event is. If it’s a potluck style or very casual, maybe don’t make a Beef Wellington - or DO and keep ‘em on their toes. I’m not the boss of you. Usually though you do want things to make sense with the event. Walking tacos at a fancy wedding just wouldn’t make much sense. Also keep in mind food colors and textures. You’ll want to vary it so everything isn’t all beige, or all the textures to be smooth and creamy. Last, think about foods that you can make ahead to save yourself some time on the day of the event.
Appetizers: Think of 1-2 finger foods folks can eat when they arrive as you finish everything.
Main dish: Choose a protein, hearty vegetarian dish, pasta, soup, etc. to be the star of the show.
Two side dishes: Either one vegetable and one potato/rice/grain OR two veggie sides will do!
Bread: This is an essential part of a Deep North Dinner Party, in my humble opinion. Don’t forget the butter and/or make a compound butter that goes with the meal.
Dessert: Something sweet to round out the meal. This is something easy to tell others to bring if your guests want to contribute!
Drinks: Make sure to have some alcohol and N/A options for people with differing relationships to alcohol. If you’re in a state like MN, you may even want to have a THC drink on hand for fun?! The upper Midwestern, specifically Lutheran and/or Scandinavian households often have coffee after dinner so I keep regular caffeinated and decaf on hand for post dinner drinks. It would also be a good idea to stock up on some tea for those who are non coffee folks.
Cleanup: Plan ahead how you want guests to clean up so it’s not awkward in the moment, and if someone offers to do dishes or help, please let them do it. Also want to quickly note that it is in bad taste to have the main cook do the dishes. They’ve done so much work so make the others chip in!
Now for some example meals! Feel free to straight up copy these, or use them as inspiration for your next gathering. Happy planning!
Double Date Dinner with Friends
Theme/vibe: Casual, comforting, warm
Pinterest board: none needed since it was impromptu - planned the night before!
Playlist: We took turns choosing records
Linens: everyday tablecloth and napkins
Buffet style: Everyone brought their plate into the kitchen to dish up
No allergies or dietary needs
Courses
Appetizers: none - truly a casual hang
Main dish: Chicken pot pie
Side dishes: none needed since the pot pie has lots of veggies
Bread: none needed since the pot pie has biscuits on top
Dessert: movie candy with our movie viewing!
Drinks: Lingonberry soda, whiskey on ice, sparkling water
Cleanup: didn’t plan this ahead since it’s a casual hang! Usually my husband buses plates and does dishes.
Nuclear Family Thanksgiving (2-4 people)
This is a real meal plan for our upcoming Thanksgiving at the end of the month. It will be small and intimate, and I’m looking forward to a day spent together in the kitchen!
Theme/vibe: Modern (simple and open)
Pinterest board: search “Modern Thanksgiving” or check out my Pinterest board I whipped up quick here!
Playlist: funky, chill music tailored to our tastes in music which is very easy to do with a few kitschy “on-the-nose” themed Thanksgiving songs
Linens: patterned tablecloth, placemats, napkins
Seated style: Makes it feel a little extra special compared to a regular Thursday dinner
No allergies or dietary needs
Courses
Appetizers: Cheese ball with Ritz crackers, pickles, and warmed marinated olives
Main dish: Turkey breast or Cornish game hen
Side dishes: Herby salad, Mashed potatoes with sheet-pan gravy, blistered green beans, and cranberry sauce
Bread: N/A
Dessert: Pumpkin pie coffee cake and apple hand pies
Drinks: Cranberry soda and coffee (caffeinated and decaf)
Cleanup: We all share this task!
Small-ish Family Thanksgiving (6-10 people)
Here’s a level-up of the menu above for a slightly larger crowd. You’ll want to make more of all the side dishes, and I’ve added a few more.
Theme/vibe: Traditional (understated and comfortable)
Pinterest board: search “Traditional Thanksgiving” or check out this one I made in 15 mins!
Playlist: more mainstream genres, with a mix of known songs from past and present sticking to piano, ballads, and acoustic choices
Linens: one color tablecloth (no pattern), placemats, napkins with napkin rings
Seated style: Makes it feel a little extra special!
No allergies or dietary needs, plus there’s enough options that people with differing food needs will *hopefully* feel full
Courses
Appetizers:
Cheese ball in the shape of a pumpkin or turkey with Ritz crackers (how festive!)
Pickles
Warmed marinated olives
Nuts
Raw veggies on ice for snacking (radishes, carrots, celery) - very supper club energy
Main dish: Small turkey or a roasted chicken
Side dishes:
Herby salad (v, veg, gf)
Mashed potatoes (veg, gf) with sheet-pan gravy
Blistered green beans (v, veg, gf)
Cranberry sauce (v, veg, gf)
Savory sweet potato casserole (I don’t like the marshmallows on top of the typical sweet potatoes)
Bread: Sour cream and chive pull apart rolls (veg) and stuffing
Dessert:
Apple hand pies
Cranberry Jell-o “salad” or raspberry fluff (google these!)
Drinks: White and red wine, cranberry soda, tea and coffee (caffeinated and decaf)
Cleanup: Anyone besides the main cook/head chef
No matter what kind of dinner party you’re throwing, you’ll save yourself some headaches with a little pre-planning, and guests who pay attention to details will notice and appreciate the cohesion!
Things I Like
Making time for myself and loved ones has been a challenge the last few months because of my full time and freelance job. I have stepped away from the freelance gig and I am looking forward to more time to devote to personal projects and time with people important to me.
Keeping up with all the BravoCon updates! @QueensofBravo on Instagram is my go-to account
Just started Silo on Apple TV and it’s so good! I had to keep watching - did three episodes the first night I watched!
May your week be gentle and may you eat well. 🌲🥣