Thanks for your patience in the delayed newsletter this week! Last week at work was chaotic, difficult (one of the hardest of the year so far), and emotionally taxing. On top of that, I’ve been working in my off hours on something very exciting but all of that ran me a little ragged. I hosted my third food party over the weekend too and all of that excitement plus the exhaustion from the week took me out on Sunday. I’m glad you’re here and I’m excited to share more details of this party with you!
Reflections on Hosting
This is the third party I’ve hosted this year centered around food. The idea was to create a space for all my food-loving pals to flex their creative muscles a little bit and make something they wouldn’t normally make (hence - party!). I also wanted to connect IRL with some of the folks I’ve mainly chatted with online for years! It’s been fun to think of ideas for gatherings, and I was able to ask my friends this weekend what kind of parties they want in the future. As expected, I was met with inspired ideas: french toasts, hand pies, smoked meats, breads and spreads. I’ve tucked these away for future months, and folks left asking when the next one would be and for the theme. Couldn’t ask for anything better as a host.
I’ve been influenced so much by The Art of Gathering by Priya Parker. Her wise words and catchphrases are often met with resistance in the Upper Midwest. Terms like “generous exclusion” and being a “generous authority” vs. a “chill host” will make the most kindly suburban mom bristle and start listing “what about” questions. Here’s the thing though - by being intentional with your purpose, and not inviting any and everybody, the gathering can be focused on the people who really want to be there. Generously excluding some people means that a host can more emphatically welcome and connect with a select group of people, and they can connect with each other. It does not mean that that one person is excluded forever, it just means that when you do decide to invite them, you have thought about intentionally including them.
A generous host is someone who can equalize and connect their guests. When hosts are “chill” they often leave guests alone, and without a little facilitation, it often creates a vacuum in which people gravitate towards people they already know, or the vibe is controlled by one person who fills the space in the absence of a host. It may seem cringe to have everyone introduce themselves at a gathering like a Deviled Egg Party, but it allows an opportunity for people to be sure they know the names of the other guests, and note who they could connect with over the course of the time together.
A little facilitation goes a long way for a successful gathering! I’ve done this by having everyone introduce themselves, the food that they’ve brought, and answered an ice breaker question. I have noted transition times (i.e. food at 6, games at 8ish for those that want to hang longer!) which provides an explicit space for people who need or want an exit. No need for guests who have to leave early to awkwardly announce their departure when there’s already a time for transition embedded in the event. Plus it gives space and time for others who want to/can stay to enjoy a little longer!
I’m having so much fun planning these parties every month, and I think I’m getting better at hosting them, even with a few errors I notice for myself every time. Thankfully, everyone who is at these gatherings has a lot of grace for me since they are already my friends.
Deviled Egg Deets
Deviled eggs are so easily riffable. They come in all sorts of variations - a quick Google will have you deep in jalapeño popper deviled egg recipes, deviled egg carbonara instructions, and bloody mary deviled egg inspo. It was the perfect pick for my next food focused party, and let me tell you, my friends showed out!
You are looking at (top to bottom):
Quiche Lorraine inspired deviled eggs with caramelized onions
Sushi inspired deviled eggs marinated in soy sauce with wasabi and pickled ginger
The ole’ standard deviled eggs
Spam & gochujang deviled eggs with extra spam on the side!
Pimento cheese sandwiches
Deviled egg sugar cookies
We also had:
Deviled egg pasta salad and a big salad
Raw veggies for snacking
Beef sticks
Salted black licorice fish from our recent travels
Bilberry juice (similar to blueberry!) mixed with various sparkling waters and ginger beer
Let me know in the comments what variation of deviled eggs you would make!
Things I Like
This instagram post that is forever on my vision board
I can’t stop thinking about the students at Columbia who are protesting war and pushing to divest from Israel. They are being arrested, suspended, and forced out of dorms. Feel free to sign the petition here.
It’s almost my 35th birthday and I love that my friends’ proposals for celebrations are the most chill, me-coded plans: bagels by the lake, an afternoon couch sitting and crocheting, take-out while listening to records, etc. I can’t wait!
Thinking about this bag but I have too many projects I need to finish so I really need to hold off on this one. But it’s going to be hard to do - wish me luck!
Looking for the highest quality but affordable small hoop earrings that I can wear everyday without my ear holes turning black. Anyone have any recommendations?
May your week be gentle and may you eat well. 🌲🥣
I loved reading that book as well! Thanks for sharing the petition, as I can't stop thinking about the Columbia college students arrested for peaceful protesting as well.
Priya Parker!!!